Everyone needs some kind of stroking, be it the supervisor or the subordinate to boost his morale. All the above mentioned strokes are positive strokes. A stroke that brings a feeling of unworthiness, hatred ness, sorrow, etc is a negative stroke. This can ruin the relationship as the transaction between the 2 states of being is brought to an abrupt end. This stroke brings a feeling of I’m not OK, I don’t count. For example, if someone says, Go away, I can’t stand you or if your superior in work place does not respond to your greetings early in the morning, the feeling of Not OK creeps in. If the stroke is given to you for what you do, it is a conditional stroke. If your superior praises you for the performance of a job, it is a conditional stroke, coz; this stroke is dependant on the performance of a job assigned to you. On the other hand, an unconditional stroke is given to you for being you. If your colleague says that he likes spending time with you and likes your company, this is an unconditional stroke, as he shows liking towards you for what you are as a person.

Thus, strokes are necessary for both physical and mental well-being. You must have noticed how a dog responds to physical stroking. This is true with animals too. Everyone needs physical stroking, but once you grow up, symbolic and word stroking helps. You need to make sure that you get the positive and unconditional strokes you want and need. You can stroke yourself for being you and for the things you like and enjoy about you. Try the following exercise and tell us the results.

A few positive strokes that people need in an organization are listed below. Note down the names of the people who fit best in the below mentioned roles and let them know about it.Name people in your department /work relationship, who are particularly noted for the following:

Personality Integrity Intelligence general ability Initiative resourcefulness Devotion to duty Industry Promptness accuracy in doing work Reliability Capacity for assuming responsibility Punctuality in attendance Amenability to discipline Capacity to get work done form subordinates Capacity to take quick sound decisions Capacity for sustained work

MBO – An Effective Planning Tool :

MBO is an collaborative process whereby the Leader and team members can jointly determine objectives for each team members. MBO begins when the Team Leader explains the goals for his group. The team members take the goals and propose objective for his / her particular job. In case of any modification of individual’s objectives, it is accomplished through negotiation since the Team Leader has resources to help the team member commit to the achievement of the objective. Thus, a set of verifiable objectives for each team member are jointly determined, prioritized and formalised. Transperancy in Communication is the key factor in determining MBO’s success or failure.

MBO Process : Objectives are the drivers of planning processes. The organisation’s success ultimately depends on the combined outcomes of its objectives. Defining a Objective

An Objective is simply a statement of what is to be done and should be stated in terms of results. A mnemonic and to-write objectives is SMART (Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Result-oriented, Time-Limited).Specific : An objective must be specific with a single key result. If more than one result is to be accomplished, more than one objective should be written. Just knowing what is to be accomplished is a big step toward achieving it.

Once you have clarified what you want to achieve, your attention will be focussed on the objective that you deliberately set. You will be doing something important to you.

Measurable :

An objective must be measurable. Only an objective that affects behaviour in a measurable way can be optimally effective. If possible, state the objective as a quantity. Some objectives are more difficult to measure than others are. However, difficulty does not mean that they cannot be measured. Development of team members could be measured by determining the number of tasks the team member has performed. Co-operation with other functions could be measured by length of delay in providing requested information.

Attainable :

An objective must be attainable with the resources that are available. It must be realistic. Many objectives are realistic. Yet, the time it takes to achieve them may be unrealistic. For example, it is realistic to want to lose ten pounds of weight. However, it is unrealistic to want to lose ten pounds in one week.

What barriers stand between you and your objective? How will each barrier be overcome and within that time frame ?

Result-Oriented :

The objective should be in line with the goals of the organisation. The successful completion of the objective should make a difference.

How will this objective help the organisation move ahead ? Is the objective aligned with the mission of the organisation.

Time Limited :

The objective should be traceable. Specific objectives enable time priorities to be set and time to used on objectives that really matter.

Do you realistic establish the time frame? Will other competing demands cause delay ? Will you be able to overcome those demands to accomplish the objective you ‘ve set in the time frame you’ve established ?

Tips :

Although the rules are difficult to establish, the following may be useful when writing an objective.

Identify a single key result for each objective.

Give the date of the estimated completion.

Be sure the objective is one you can control.

EQ is a relatively new concept. It is the capacity for recognising our own feelings and those of others, for motivating ourselves, and for managing emotions well in ourselves and in our relationships. Emotional intelligence describes abilities distinct from but complementary to IQ. Many people who are book smart but lack emotional intelligence end up working for people who have lower IQ’s.

Just like Mathematics or reading, the world of emotions is an area that can be mastered more or less skillfully and requires mental alertness. Upon mapping we realize that EQ is a special capacity, which determines how well we are able to make use of the other skills that we possess, besides IQ.

People with good emotional capacity know their feelings, well and are in control of them, they can read other people’s feelings and deal with them effectively. These people have an advantage over others in all aspects of life, be it professional or personal. People with this intelligence have a defined thinking process, which in turn promotes productivity.

People, who are not in control of their emotions, fight internal struggles that inhibit their ability to think clearly and concentrate on their work. This is the main reason why people start looking for new jobs or are dissatisfied with the way their present company is treating them. It is their emotional intelligence that is failing them. What such people need is not another job but mastery over their own World of emotions.

It is emotional intelligence that motivates us to pursue our unique potential and purpose, and activates our innermost values and aspirations, transforming them from things we think about to what we live.

Emotional Literacy: First step towards EI.

EMOTIONAL LITERACY is the first step towards building your emotional intelligence. It is the ability to recognize, understand and appropriately express our emotions. It is an essential skill that we must work to develop.

Today the need for Emotional Literacy is ever increasing, and is one of the best investments that we can make for our children and ourselves.

Emotions are an integral part of human nature. Through them we respond to life in many different ways, such as with anger, happiness, fear, love and loneliness. Emotions influence our thoughts and actions; they inspire our needs; they affect our bodies and impact on our relationships. They are not enemies to be rebuffed, repressed or rejected but rather allies to be honored understood and directed. Ignored, they become willful tyrants; respected, they are our cherished helpers.

Becoming emotionally literate is learning the alphabet, grammar and vocabulary of our emotional life. In a world where academic literacy is increasingly the norm and other literacy such as technological and computer, are expected, emotional literacy must become commonplace in order for human beings to grow, evolve and face the challenges of the future.

The capacity to deal with emotions positively is an essential element of good health. The direct connection between good health and the emotional state of a person is well documented.
Dysfunctional relationships on all levels are destroying individuals, families and whole communities. Emotional Literacy will support families and permit them to grow as individuals while sustaining a close bonded relationship.

An employee whose distress is responded to lovingly and promptly will learn confidence. An employee, who understands the important role of emotions will have a better foundation for a joyful, fulfilled and integrated life.

Emotional Literacy is a key to taking advantage of all possibilities. It is basic to joy and enthusiasm for life and fundamental to your ability to love others.

Emotional Literacy is a profound and beautiful language available to everyone that can be implemented rapidly, safely, and with lasting effect. Learning how to become emotionally literate is one of the best investments that human beings can make for themselves, their children, and the future.

-Positive in what you say EFFECTIVE SPEAKING The purpose of this is to: -Convey information

-Make recommendations

-Sell a proposal